I have been anticipating the end of April the moment it started... I just hope time can pass so much faster... If possible I sure hope it's Christmas right now, and 2008 would just be around the corner...
I haven't been doing much lately... For no apparent reason I have been feeling rather down lately, so much that I have no mood to do anything at all. Feel like hiding myself in a corner of my room and cutting off communications with the rest of the world. Everything feels so mundane. Nevertheless, my daily expenses spiral downwards to less than $4 per day as I seldom feel hungry and took only one light meal per day.
Received a call from home, and is rather dismayed that my citizenship application will most probably not get through this year. The oath-taking ceremony to inaugurate new citizens as required under Brunei Nationality Act will temporarily be postponed until the celebrations for His Majesty's birthday in July are over.
Not that I wanna complain, but this whole citizenship process is taking ridiculously long up to the point of exasperation. I applied for it in 2004, right before I matriculated into NTU, sat for the Malay Language exam in May 2006. Okay, the 2 years of waiting is plausible, given that there are other requirements to fulfil, such as background checking as well as preparation for the upcoming Malay exam.
I received a letter congratulating me that I passed the citizenship exam in Dec 2006, and since then, I have been left wondering if my file is languishing in the office. Both sides of my family had been residing in Brunei for at least 2 generations, and my parents even joined in the Merdeka celebrations at the Padang in 1984. No one in my immediate family had any brushes with the laws and hadn't even thought of migrating overseas, unlike some of my parents' friends who disappear from the country for a few years and later returned as Canadian citizens. My parents attempted to apply for citizenship but failed the exam, and my youngest sister had just applied. I even flew back into the Sultanate almost immediately when I was told there are parts of the documents that I need to sign in January, thereby skipping some lessons.
Yet, I would have to wait till maybe 2008 or even 2009 to receive my citizenship certificate. My cousin applied for Singapore citizenship around the same time I applied for mine, and to date, she has been holding her Singapore passport for almost 2 years now, while I still DUN even have a passport!! I really envy the other guy in the batch right before me, as he managed to receive his citizenship certificate this February, having waited for only half a year after receiving official letter informing that he had passed.
No matter how much time or effort I invest or how meticulous I sought to be, things will just go awry and in the end, the outcome would just be bitterly disappointing. It has always been like that in my life. I really feel burnt-out. Maybe I should really adopt a non-chalant attitude towards everything to avoid whatever negative outcome that will arrest me by surprise.
Anyway, I've decided to sit for my driving theory in Malay, and fortunately for me, my proficiency in written Malay remains intact, though the same could not be said of my spoken Malay.
I still have one more paper and the stupid FYP assignment, and there are tons of perplexing formulas to memorize. Anyway I guess I would just get a pretty average grade no matter what I do.
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